Tips and Insights From an Expert
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Do you find yourself regularly postponing, delaying, or deferring certain activities or projects? If so, you are not alone. While there aren't many statistics on procrastination, it's safe to assume that most of us can relate in some way. Read along as we share some expert tips and insights for dealing with this unconstructive habit.
Joining us for a conversation on the subject of procrastination is behavioral modification expert and hypnotherapist, Juanita-Beth Morgan. A regular contributor to YOU Magazine, Ms. Morgan has been a certified hypnotherapist for over 17 years. While her practice runs the gamut in terms of psychological and emotional issues, Morgan says she has treated hundreds of patients with procrastination problems.
What is It to Be a Procrastinator?
Since most of us know what it means to procrastinate, we began our interview with Ms. Morgan by asking how it differs from prioritizing, a behavior considered as positive.
"Prioritizing occurs at a conscious level when you evaluate options and make a conscious decision based on those options," states Morgan.
Procrastination is the opposite of that. Generally occurring on a subconscious level, the result is a vague, clouded and undefined perception that delays our response to activate an opportunity. Morgan urges us to think of procrastination as "a fork in the road" within the subconscious.
Morgan says that procrastination becomes apparent during the development of the conscious, typically between the ages of 3 and 7. It is always a very subjective behavior, but especially true during one's early years. Three-year-olds may procrastinate putting their toys away, while seven-year-olds may put off doing their homework.
It's important to realize that at the root of procrastination is control, claiming the subconscious belief for many people is that by procrastinating they are putting themselves in control of their personal timeline. This, Morgan says, is what makes procrastination a form of passive-aggressive behavior.
Considering that procrastination habits begin to surface early in childhood, we asked Ms. Morgan if she has any advice for parents.
"It's important to analyze the child's overall personality, not just one or two isolated events," states our expert. Ask yourself if he or she is a self-starter, or do they rely on you for motivation?
With a lot of trial and error to be expected, Ms. Morgan says teaching self-motivation to your child may be as simple as positive reinforcement. For other children, preparing them for transitions between events may be key. Whatever techniques you explore, Morgan advises to look beyond what you want and consider the capabilities of the child. She reminds us, however, procrastination is not a behavior that magically appears when we are adults. If left totally unchecked during childhood, it will follow us into adulthood.
So, are you a procrastinator? We asked Ms. Morgan about the warning signs of procrastination. Below is her list of some of the more popular traits.
More ideas than actual accomplishments. Ideas are passive and accomplishments imply action. A disproportionate ratio is a good indicator of procrastination.
Over-committing to projects. Many times this is how a procrastinator will attempt to overcome their procrastination. Eventually their plate becomes so full that it becomes even more difficult to take action and the cycle continues.
Being overly-focused on one activity or project. The polarized opposite of the previous trait, rarely in life do we have just one activity or project. Once reality sets in, so can the procrastination.
Frequently surrendering to a negative state of health. Whether it is real or imaginary, sickness can serve as a great excuse for a procrastinator.
Frequently surrendering to a negative state of mind. From a nonchalant attitude to severe depression, a negative state of mind curbs both enthusiasm and productivity.
Waiting till the last minute. It's rather obvious, but still needs to be mentioned.
Late for appointments and social engagements. This is one of the effects of waiting until the last minute.
In terms of the darker and more negative aspects of procrastination Morgan says, "Let's put it this way. I've never met a procrastinator who is glad to be a procrastinator."
The bottom line is that procrastination is not the way to achieve happiness and fulfillment in life. The frustrating and slightly ironic part is that this sentiment is validated every time a procrastinator manages to accomplish something they've been putting off. The unfortunate and underlying theme to this cycle is that of regret.
Morgan went on to say that for many procrastinators there is a persistent and overwhelming feeling of being "out of touch". She claims that this feeling is the result of time passing you by as you make sport with timelines and schedules. She says that if you feel out of touch with people or events, start by looking at what you've been putting off.
Lastly, Morgan says that a person's self-esteem is negatively affected by not living up to his or her potential. It's no secret that we are judged and remembered by the things we do, not the things we could or should do. "Our world is filled with monuments to people who accomplished," asserts Ms. Morgan. The same cannot be said for procrastinators.
When it comes to dealing with a chronic procrastinator, Ms. Morgan suggests NOT dealing with them unless you absolutely have to. She says the psychology of a chronic procrastinator requires either rewards or punishments, almost as if you are dealing with a child.
If you must deal with a procrastinator, Morgan recommends setting a fine example by jumpstarting yourself and sharing the positive results with them. In conjunction, you should also invoke some type of reward system when a procrastinator does show action.
While a professional counselor would better understand the issues of a procrastinator, Ms. Morgan says a qualified therapist would never negotiate with one, and neither should you. At best, it is a frustrating and unproductive experience. "Nobody's perfect," states Morgan, "But, the goal is to make friends or do business with people who want to put an end to their negative behavior."
Putting an End to Your Own Procrastination
The good news here is that procrastination is a habit and habits can be changed. With this in mind here are some of Ms. Morgan's tips for getting started:
- Identify if you fall into the category of a procrastinator.
- Realize that it is a habit.
- Evaluate the frequency (occasionally, generally, and predictably likely to occur).
- Consciously decrease the negative assumption that you MUST procrastinate.
- Ask for help and delegate in order to get started and to follow through as much as possible.
- Modify your behavior from "always a procrastinator" to "sometimes" to "never". No matter how gradual, any progress indicates overall improvement.
- Get started today. DON'T PROCRASTINATE.
To conclude our look into the subject of procrastination, we thought it fitting to share the following poignant and direct quote from our expert:
"Today's decisions and actions directly affect where you will be tomorrow. Sometimes merely addressing your procrastination issues is all you need to achieve positive results. Success is not as hard as you think, so check your procrastination file and see what it tells you. If the problem continues, seek the help of a qualified professional because a deeper issue may be involved."
Juanita-Beth Morgan, C.H.T is a graduate of the Hypnosis Motivation Institute, having continued her studies at the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute, under the direction of Walter E. Brackelmanns, M.D., Associate Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at UCLA.
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